Dear Mother Dear

Dear Mother Dear,
I am nursing a two-and-a-half-year-old and would like to have another baby.  I wasn’t able to get pregnant with this one until my older son was weaned.  While I don’t mind the five-year age gap, time is getting short and I’d rather not have another five-year gap.  Do you know of anything besides delicious red raspberry leaf tea to help?
Tara Kennedy

Dear Reader Dear,
Cool it.  Remember all those tearful confessions at high school, where cold October nights in the back seat of a Ford resulted in unwanted pregnancies?  What won’t happen under a warm duvet in a well insulated side split just might if you make love outside on a snow pile at midnight.  Sperm is fragile stuff and needs to avoid Pepsi, Coke, alcohol and tobacco, hot tubs and hot baths.

The would-be pregnant couple will develop maternal hormones by baby gazing any available baby.  Baby sit.  Read to small children.  Be a foster parent.  Eat organic sunflower seeds.  Good luck. 
Catherine Young

Dear Mother Dear,
I used to receive The Compleat Mother years ago. I now have five children and am thinking ahead to our next baby. We have had four terrific home waterbirths attended by local midwives. I have been quite satisfied with our births, but have become increasingly irritated at the medicalization of midwifery that has infiltrated my care more and more each birth. I would really like to find an unregistered midwife or traditional birth attendant. Obviously, I can’t simply search on the Internet...they don’t seem to advertise their services! Do you have any idea how to find one here in Ontario? Do they have a secret group I might be able to locate?! Is it only a dream that these wonderful women even exist? 
Christine Gayfer, via email

Dear Christine,
The best way to find a traditional birth attendant is to ask around, especially at your local LaLeche League meetings and attachment parenting groups. Another good resource is the Internet (user beware, of course). Checking attachment parenting forums can be insightful. There are usually plenty of pertinent stories to read, and people are pretty forthcoming about their experiences and eager to answer questions.

According to Gloria Lemay, a traditional birth attendant in British Columbia, who has been midwifing for more than 20 years, Ontario is very bad for alternative birthcare providers. They are all very scared of the College.
Angela